


The devil in me

by winterloverr



Category: General Hux - Fandom, Kylo Ren - Fandom, Star Wars, kylux - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Inspired by Lyrics, M/M, Modern AU, Song Oneshot, kinda sad, modern star wars, modern star wars au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22725718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterloverr/pseuds/winterloverr
Summary: Thoughts and actions after a Break Up, Hux’s pov.
Relationships: kylo ren/armitage hux
Kudos: 6





	The devil in me

_ Two oceans in between us  _

_ And I wait for shore  _

_ There's a gate I see  _

_ There's a way for me  _

The redhead let his head hung low, elbow leaned on the bar while his fingertips touched the nearly empty whiskey glass. Hux not only stood out of the crowd because of his red hair, but also his dark blue Suit he wore at the Bar. It's been days since he and Kylo broke up, well more like Kylo broke up with him after a big fight and after they both managed to break their hearts with evil words, but he had to admit that the words he spit out in the fight were cruel. He leaned forward, now with both arms leaning on the wooden bar, he took another sip from his drink; his eyes never leaving that one point right next to where his glass stood. It felt like right now, there were oceans between him and Kylo; all he wanted to do was get to him but he couldn't.

_ Now this one sits here  _

_ And whispers things to me  _

_ Now I got the Devil inside  _

_ This one made a pig of me  _

Maybe an hour later some Woman sat next to him on a barstool, her body leaning towards his whispering sweet nothings in his ear and trying to get him to leave with her. He wasn't even sure why she didn't give up already since he haven't said one word to her, all he felt were her hands touching either his elbow or his leg. The glass in his hand has been filled way too many times now, his thoughts swimming in his drunk and cold head. All those noises around him were blurred out; the laughters and snippets of conversations of happy people and the music in the background but also the words from the woman next to him. He felt like he got the devil inside of him.

_ This wall is primal,  _

_ my grinding jaw  _

_ The headache pill,  _

_ the necktie on (my) her bedroom door  _

_ My conscience burning  _

_My eyes are too_

He was in the woman's room, touching her skin and letting his frustrations out. Hux didn't even knew the name of the brunette girl under him. All he knew right now was that he was sleeping with her, pleasing himself as good as he could but he couldn't even remember how he got there. Hux didn't know when he got so low to sleep with a random girl just days after he and kylo broke up, guilt started to come down on him in waves when he catches a glimpse of his necktie on the doorknob. It felt like cheating. When they were done she had cuddled up to him, whispered something in his ear before she fell asleep. All he did was just to lay on his back, looking at the necktie feeling like drowning because of his fault. His head was throbbing with the forming headache, his eyes full with tears ready to come free and rolling down his face but he couldn't let them just yet.

_Cuddled up with a heart condemned_

_I should love you and I swear I do_

Guilt and his conscience dragging him down, his heart breaking only further as the realisation of his actions settled in. Why did he sleep with her? He couldn't understand it, he was loving Kylo with his whole heart and soul. The redhead couldn't even imagine his life without him.

_This world is rabid,_

_this world is through_

_Follow me through an empty dream_

_ I'm sleeping next to someone new  _

_ My conscience burning,  _

_ my beastly flaw  _

_The headache pill, the necktie on (my) her bedroom door_

After his thoughts started to become too much, he got up and quickly dressed again. No matter how much he wanted to sleep now, he didn't wanted to sleep to someone new and not someone that wasn't Kylo. He ripped the necktie from the doorknob as he left the apartment and went outside, letting the tie hang loosely around his neck. The first two buttons of his shirt were open because he felt like he couldn't breath anymore, taking a deep breath in and out as he watched Up into the Night sky; the moon shining. He started to walk towards his home, having seen where he was. At first Hux didn't realised it at first but he was fully crying now as he walked and looked only forwards, but at some point he stopped and started to lean down and scream out all the pain he felt. The hot, ripping pain that went trough his whole body, dropping to his knees and sobbing as he hide his face in his hands.

_I'm such a coward,_

_these wretched things I do_

_Disgrace and treachery_

_I'm a sickness and I know its true_

He felt like a coward for sleeping with someone new just days after their split. Disgrace, guilt, treachery, hate, sadness filled his whole body. Armitage was hating himself so much that he couldn't breath as he walked towards his apartment after he spent half an hour crying on the dark and lonely pavement. Again and again he was choking on nothing but the lack of air which just couldn't get to his lungs.

_I don't have anything_

He reached his apartment, got inside just to see the empty place in his bed where Kylo was supposed to be. He knew, he didn't have anything anymore because kylo was his everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Loves!  
> So this is my first post ever here and I’m just trying things out, so if you liked my work or have ideas leave a comment and I would be glad to read them xx  
> \- S x
> 
> P.S. Ava by Famy is defo a song where I always get sad but at the same time that song is just beautiful


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